His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize