Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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