Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
