Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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