Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize