what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
