She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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