I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
