I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize