Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm both gender and math confused
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
