so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
