No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
