too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
