is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize