Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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