I just threw up on my dentist
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
