I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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