what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
