i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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