no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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