so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
