his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
