Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
