my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
