Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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