If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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