Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
