you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
