Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize