There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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