I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
