Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
