woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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