i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize