I think scott just propositioned me for sex
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
try to milk me bitch
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
