Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
