WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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