Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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