I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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