love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
