A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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