You're my little dorito
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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