what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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