when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
