You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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