I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
