Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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