Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize