i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
