My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize