hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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