i just wanna soil my oats bro
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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