Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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