somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
