I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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