Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
