you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
