i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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