Can Purell be used as lube?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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