My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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