He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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