First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Duck Duck Cougar?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
