on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
