Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
