Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
