i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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