and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
