I can tuck mytits in my pants
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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