he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
