All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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