Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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