Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
