You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We left an ass print on the piano.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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