Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
